Brain Eater’s Bible – A Zombie’s Guide to Life on the iPad

By Juli | May 20, 2011 | No comment yet

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When the inevitable zombie apocalypse hits, the world will be divided into two factions: zombies, and the people who kill zombies. If you’re lucky, you’ll be one of the survivors holed up underground or in a mall fighting off those hordes of brain craving zombies with whatever you can get your hands on. But if you’re not so lucky and get infected with the PACE (Postmortem Ambulation with Cannibalistic Encephalitis) virus, this is one guide you’ll want to have handy, as it’s filled with tips and tricks on accepting zombie life and getting your rotting hands on those delicious, delicious brains.

Can zombies use iPads? The answer to that is still up in the air, so it’s best to download and read this guide to zombie life before you become one of the living dead. Plus, very few of you are going to be fast walkers (the intelligent zombies this guide is designed for), but reading it ahead of time may cement a few vague tips in your newly minted zombie brain. This iPad book is also great for freshies (you non-zombies) of all kinds, including zombie lovers, gruesome comedy fans, and monster enthusiasts.

Distinguished zombie author and advocate, J.D. McGhoul (aka Pat Kilbane, of MAD TV) is the writer and narrator of the Brain Eater’s Bible, and also the star of the many videos you’ll find within the app, which happens to contain the full text of the original book published earlier this year, as well as extra multimedia content. There’s a handy mechanism that allows you to read the book while holding your iPad in portrait mode, and view videos, sketches, animations, and journal entries when your iPad is flipped to landscape mode. This clever layout was quick and easy to use, and I often flipped my iPad around after every page to see the accompanying media.

There are 151 pages in the Brain Eater’s Bible on the iPad, and every single page has a video, image, or some commentary to supplement what you’re reading. To watch a video, open the journal, or enlarge a picture, just tap on it. Video topics will range from the joy of eating brains to the finer points of skull cracking to the perils of nail biting when you can’t feel your fingers. All of the short video clips were immensely entertaining. I particularly enjoyed the comparison between slow moving zombies and earthworms. Earthworms are slow and stupid, but if they weighed 180 pounds and fed on people, you might think twice about going outside in the rain. As a strict vegetarian, I loved the segment on the perils of being a vegetarian in a post-apocalyptic world. I would challenge anyone to read through this book and not find something (or many things) funny and enlightening.

In addition to the video and text, there are pictures on nearly every page. I haven’t mentioned this yet, but if you are in any way squeamish or offended by dark humor that insinuates children’s brains taste like green bananas or that brains are like a great lasagna, this may not be a book you want to purchase. Pictures in the book are almost all gruesome and bloody, with plenty of detailed anatomical drawings and exquisitely done zombie portraits. You can see a larger version of every picture by tapping on it.

The book is divided into six chapters, ranging from how to eat brains and knowing your zombie body, to hunting, defense, and virus propagation. Each chapter is prefaced with a journal entry written by J.D. McGhoul, who gradually tells the story of how he became a zombie and explains the intricacies of zombie life through his own experiences. The journal entries were my favorite part of the book, as they were all well-written and realistic. I’ve read a lot of zombie literature and seen a lot of zombie movies, but I’m not sure I’ve experienced anything so in-depth and from such a unique perspective.

There’s a lot of very focused information in this book, exploring every aspect of what it is to be a zombie and how to live as one. One memorable quote, “Contemplative people so often struggle with what they are here for and what they should be doing with their lives, but for zombies, these questions are already answered: you are here to eat brains. It’s that simple. Your empty belly is the only void in your life that ever need be filled.”

If you are a zombie enthusiast or a lover of dark humor, then this interactive iPad book is a must. A lot of research went into the book itself – the author spoke with and obtained expert opinion from a brain surgeon, an immunologist, a navy seal sniper, a martial arts expert, a paramedic, and a firearms instructor. And a lot more work went into the iPad version of the book, adding tons of videos and interactivity, not to mention a visually appealing book design and layout. I would also like to point out that the writing is clever, witty, and genuinely funny. It was a pleasure to read, and I would highly recommend it if dark comedy interests you.

What I liked: Everything. The interactive videos were great and the clever writing was even better.

What I didn’t like: I would have liked to bookmark my favorite pages to reference again, without having to scan through the table of contents. A search function also would have been nice. The book is light on features, but rich in content.

To buy or not to buy: Buy, absolutely. It’s a steal at just $7.99.